I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. The end of a year and the beginning of a year tend to bring lots of evaluation and self reflection. Thinking about where I want to go, where I want to be with my life and with my business. The reason why I started my photography business was for multiple reasons but the main reason being that I wanted to be able to capture artistic and authentic images of my kids. This desire has evolved over the years and I've been trying really hard to find a balance between running a successful business and, most importantly, feeling like I can be a mother and a wife before anything else. That's why I started all of this, after all. I've been deeply blessed to have been inspired lately with what I think will give me that balance I've been searching for.
To bring balance back into my business, I evaluated every little tiny piece of it. I thought about what I loved about it, and what I didn't love so much about it. I knew things needed to change because I had been falling into many traps - one being that I was overworking, and second, I was hitting a creative road block. I think these traps go hand in hand. To resolve these issues, I am limiting the amount of shoots I take in a year. This has been a hard thing to come to terms with, because every opportunity that arises that clients want to work with you is terribly exciting. However, the more I think about it, the more I know it will greatly impact my work and the quality of work. Stress, anxiety, and fear are not strangers to me, and they don't mix very well when I am trying to produce top notch quality creative work. I know this will benefit my work and home life significantly.
The second trap that I was falling into was a creative trap that felt like I was running into a wall over and over again. (I think many artists can relate to this). I would describe this as performing the same work over and over again due to fear and even due to comfort. Calling in all the safe moves because you know it will produce great results, because, well, it always has before. I had described this to my husband as feeling like I was creating cookie cutter work. This traps you into a pathological state where no real progress is being made. As an artist, this is incredibly harmful. Creative work should always be developing, changing, and growing along with the artist.
By examining my work and business and life values in general, these questions significantly helped me understand what to do to change. Why was I doing this? What do I love in my own images of my family? What do I want to capture? What would I want?
I know I don't want cookie cutter images. I know I was tired of running into a wall. I know I don't want what everyone else is doing because everyone likes it. But I know I want to capture genuine images. I know each shoot should be unique to the client. I know that I wanted authenticity. So, these thoughts have been put to the test.
This shoot with Sadie and Alex was the result of testing those thoughts. It opened my mind and busted down the wall I had hit. I have found my voice again, I have found my motive, and I have found how I want to connect with others through my work. Thank you, Sadie and Alex, for allowing me to find myself again by trying to authentically capture your chemistry, bond, and love.
Here's to a new voice, new journey, and new found balance.